Always A Way Out
I have been going through a lot the past few days to the point where I wanted to give up on everything. When going through these emotions, I tend to shut people out and that includes God. I start to feel lonely and sad and not knowing which direction to turn. I don’t want to pray because I feel like God is tired of hearing my same old sad song. I give myself headaches because I over think every decision in that I’ve made in the past that is currently affecting my present and my future.
You hear all the time that isolation requires elevation but no one wants to be lonely. Your thoughts are overbearing and you start to feel like you’re in a sunken place (pat on the back for ‘Get Out’ movie reference. PS: GO WATCH IT!).
You see yourself but you’re not really there. Its like you are in a maze with no way out. But by the grace of God, there is.
He always knows when I need a little pick me up because I have this undeniable urge to read my devotionals and this one was right on time.
God revealed to me yesterday 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 and it says,
8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.
I was completely stunned. I did not say one prayer to God and yet he heard me. How awesome is He? This was exactly how I felt. The enemy was using any thing to attack to me and honestly he was winning. I knew I wasn’t alone. I have family, friends and a wonderful partner who loves me but I still felt isolated. I didn’t want to face my reality or acknowledged how I was feeling because I didn’t want to be weak. I have this thing that when I cry or get sad, I become vulnerable and I absolutely hate it (God is working on me) so I try to make jokes or completely put on this tough girl act, pretending everything is okay. Slowly but surely, I am starting to realize that there is nothing wrong with feeling. You get through the hurt faster.
I know I am not alone in this so I wanted to share this with you all. Whether you’re in school miles away from your family and friends, you don’t have real friends you can trust, or a significant other, know that you have God. He will supply all your needs. He knows your heart and crying out to him can be difficult but there is no harm in trying.
After reading that verse, I thought I got all the comfort I needed but God wasn’t done. I read another devotional that focused on Psalms 46:10,
Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honoured by every nation.
I will be honoured throughout the world.
The first part is what is really stood out to me because I think as believers; we sometimes (or all the time, lets be real) want to control our lives. We tend to forget that our lives don’t belong to us. God was nice enough to lend us these bodies to do HIS work, not our own. He grants us the ability to wake up every single morning so the least we can do is serve him and glorify his kingdom.
The devotional goes on and speaks about stillness and how God can speak to us if only we take the time to listen. God does not operate in noise. We can see in almost every major book in the Bible that God had to isolate them so he can speak. Maybe that’s another reason why, I felt so lonely and you as well. God is using this time to speak to us but we're not listening. God enjoys our prayers and praises but we have to let him speak too. We can’t be like Donald Trumps of the spirit realm and scream “WRONG!” or over power God all the time (I realize that this is a weird analogy but you get my point). We seek him and ask for direction and clarity and once he is ready to answer, we talk back like we know it all. We hear God all the time, its time for obeying and us to actually start listening.
The icing on the cake was the devotional on 2 Samuel 21:1-3,
There was a famine during David’s reign that lasted for three years, so David asked the Lord about it. And the Lord said, “The famine has come because Saul and his family are guilty of murdering the Gibeonites.”
2 So the king summoned the Gibeonites. They were not part of Israel but were all that was left of the nation of the Amorites. The people of Israel had sworn not to kill them, but Saul, in his zeal for Israel and Judah, had tried to wipe them out. 3 David asked them, “What can I do for you? How can I make amends so that you will bless the Lord’s people again?”
The main point of this passage was that David asked God what to do and he answered him. We may need to ask God why we’re in such a dark place. He has all the answers but we need to be prepared to listen to them. Once he reveals the issue, it is up to you to fix it.
What I want you all to take away is that it’s okay to feel sad and lonely. Jesus spent 40 days and nights in the wilderness before he began his ministry. Every time he prayed, he was alone. God asks us to go into that secret place and seek him. But realize that, 1: no matter what, God will never abandon you, 2: Be still and listen, 3: Ask and change from within.