It Takes A Village: The Journey of Evolution
This past weekend, I had a chance to attend The Supernatural Wellness Tour, New York stop #2. It was organized by Fran of Hey Fran Hey and The Friend Zone Podcast and facilitated by her, Yeradmi, and Hasnaa. It took us on a journey of connection, understanding the manifestation of our own inner dialogue, scent association, and creative visualization. The themes were heavy, but the conversation was light hearted. The location was spacious, but we were all connected by a touch, a look, or a spirit of gratitude. Our stories were different, but so much alike.
We were told at the beginning of the experience that we would be turning a mirror to each other; that though we do not know one another personally, we will find that a lot of our souls are singing the same song. I had no expectation, no assumption, and no desire to project what I thought I might experience. Instead, I showed up and simply allowed the experience to happen.
When I introduced myself, I told the group I was a cry baby. At the first exercise, it had not been more than five minutes and tears were already streaming down my face. We were told, without using our words, to support one another. Sit back to back, support and connect with a woman you have never met before. Show up for her. Create space for her. Shortly after, we sat face to face. Connected physically at the knees and with our hands and looked at each other in the eye. This was difficult for more than half of the room. Not the touching part, but the eye to eye part. We are used to averting our gaze. But looking another woman in the eye causes you to see into her more deeply. What is even more scary is the fact that you may see yourself and some of your pain in her.
Yeradmi lead this meditation, by reciting affirmations and apologies. Affirming that we are love and apologizing for not loving ourselves fully. As soon as she said “I am sorry for not loving you fully. I am sorry for not taking care of you like I should. I love you. I am sorry” it was mind altering. Rarely do we stop to apologize to ourselves for not handling our hearts like we should, not honoring what we need. As I sat there, staring in this stranger’s eyes, it felt indescribable to apologize to myself for not showing up for me and silently thanking her for doing what I couldn’t in that moment.
Fast forward through the rest of the day, my story overlapped with the women in the room. We feel a responsibility to others and therefore make ourselves wait. We don’t want to lose the whole, so we take the half. We are afraid of failure but also are afraid of succeeding so well that the weight of the greatness may be too much. We love and love hard. Or we don’t love enough. I saw myself in the stories, the struggles, the successes. And hearing each of these women talk, I heard a common theme: if I had a community, it would be easier to maintain my commitments to myself.
And this brings me to the meat and bones of this entire post: community is important to our evolution. When we are able to surround ourselves by people on this uphill trend, we can be held accountable. If no one knows that we are seeking a more enlightened self, a solid spiritual practice, a healthier body, then it is much easier to backslide and cheat ourselves out of what we deserve. I urge to find your tribe, your circle, your posse. Find them, create space for them, allow them to support you, be honest with them, and let your evolution take place in a way that would be much harder to do alone. Honoring your need for occasional solitude, permit someone (or some people) to help keep you on track. Let it happen organically and beautifully.
I promise you the emotional investment is worth it.